


my gorgeous sunset sky

by ride_the_sky



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: College, M/M, One Shot, filling my need for adam in college because there is none, for the time being, homesick adam, nothing too bad, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21997789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ride_the_sky/pseuds/ride_the_sky
Summary: Adam's first day at college.In all the busyness of the day, he hasn't really gotten the chance to sit and think.
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	my gorgeous sunset sky

**Author's Note:**

> title from a random youtube comment under hozier's "like real people do"
> 
> shamefully unbeta'd

The moment the door closed, Adam felt lost. Elijah and Rebecca Hayes had said their final goodbyes, hugged him tight and strode out of his dorm leaving him, in all senses of the word, alone. He knew no one, he was in a city he had never been before, and he had no friends within three hundred miles.

He sat on his unmade bed, staring blankly at the plastic bins on his floor. His fingers rested quietly on his lap, unusually still given the thoughts racing through his mind.

This was it.

This was college.

Thoroughly confronted with the horrifying reality of his situation, Adam figured the only thing he could do was unpack. Maybe with all his books on their shelves and his bed sheets spread, the empty dorm room would begin to feel like home. Hopefully.

He snapped back the clasps on the first bin and carefully lifted the lid off. The smell of his mother’s laundry detergent smacked him in the face with a wave of nostalgia. Clean, white linens smiled up at him, sending his mind gallivanting down memory lane. Adam could feel a pinch in his nose, a surefire sign of tears on the way. He inhaled deeply, both to try and calm himself, and to absorb as much of home as he could. Unfortunately, he only felt worse.

Biting the bullet, he pulled the sheets from the bin and shook them out. He laughed, inwardly, at the loud  _ whoomp _ as the material caught the air. He tucked the corners into the mattress and smoothed out the fabric, relishing the familiar feeling of routine. Organization always had been, and probably always would be, cathartic for Adam. Maybe it came from his parents, but something about even bedspreads and dusted window sills brought him peace. They acted as a backdrop, giving his mind a safe place, a save point, a way to reset when his thoughts got too unruly to handle. The methodical  _ stretch and pull, shake and smooth  _ of the sheets calmed him. With the last corner hooked into place, he surveyed his work. Standing straight again, he nodded, satisfied for the time being. 

He began reaching for the first blanket when the sound of the door caused him to turn. It swung inward ever so slowly, teasing him.

“Hello?” a voice asked, unsure.

“Hi,” Adam said. That was it. No other words seemed to come to his mouth.

The other boy stepped fully into the room. He held a cardboard box tucked under each arm, the edges digging into the fabric of his sweatshirt. His face was friendly, all almond eyes, round cheeks and styled black hair. He seemed nice enough, at least from first glance.

They stared at each other, each second growing slightly more uncomfortable, until Adam couldn’t bear it any more.

“Do you, um,” he coughed. Cleared his throat. Tried again. “Do you need help with that?” Adam gestured vaguely to the boxes in the other’s arms. He tried for a smile, but something told him it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Oh, oh yeah. Please.” The boy turned sideways, moving the box towards Adam. Adam took it, momentarily shaken by the weight of it. He let out a small  _ oof _ of surprise.

“Sorry, those are my books.” The boy said sheepishly, setting his box on the floor. “I normally would’ve done it myself, but I just carried them all the way up the stairs and I’m not sure my arms could’ve taken much more.” He laughed lightly and then, sensing Adam’s discomfort, stalled. He pointed next to his other box. “You can put that there. Thanks.”

“No problem,” Adam said, trying not to seem too winded. He only carried a box for twenty seconds and his arms were already getting sore. Man, he was out of shape.

“I’m Josh,” The boy - Josh - said, extending a hand.

Adam took it and tried another smile, this time with more success. “Adam.”

Josh gave a smile of his own, shaking their joined hands. “So,” he said, picking at his fingernails. “What’s you major, Adam?”

Adam shuffled. The awkward energy was stifling. “English.” Josh nodded in contemplation. “You?”

“Psych.”

Adam’s ears perked up at that. “Oh, my bbest friend is a psych major.” He hadn’t meant to say best friend. He hadn’t been inside the closet for years. The feeling of keeping his sexuality a secret was foreign. It felt wrong almost, like he should be ashamed of it, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. But he thought about it more, and decided it was probably for the best. As comfortable as Adam was with his sexuality, he figured he’d wait until he knew Josh a little better. God forbid he had to share a room with a homophobe. A small voice in his head told him that he could always request a room change, but it went ignored.

“Cool, cool…” Josh trailed off and looked at the ceiling. 

Man, this weird energy was getting old. Adam was about to make a fool of himself and say something to break the silence when Josh’s phone dinged. He pulled it out of his pocket and read the notification.

“My dad is downstairs with the rest of my stuff. I’m gonna, uh, go get it.” He waved minimally, and slipped out the door.

Adam let out a breath of air he didn’t realize he was holding. He really hoped that he and Josh would get comfortable soon, he wouldn’t be able to take it otherwise. Confronted once again with silence, he sat back down and replayed the conversation in his head. 

Josh was a psych major. Adam had mentioned his boyfriend.

It took him a minute to realize that, in all the hustle and bustle of the day, he hadn’t thought about Caleb.

A part of him felt guilty. Another part just felt sad. Three hundred miles sat between them, which was three hundred more than he would’ve liked. His chest tightened with the thought, and Adam brought a hand up to wipe away the wet around his eyes. They could text, facetime, call. Every day, they had promised. Adam could practically hear Caleb’s voice saying  _ I’m only a phone call away _ , could see him smiling and waving his phone in the air. But even through all the wonders of technology, nothing was the same as being held tight against Caleb’s chest, feeling all his fears and doubts fade away and knowing that he was safe. Getting to kiss him, hold his hand, run his fingers through Caleb’s hair, it was those moments that Adam would miss the most.

Another tear began to fall, but he caught it before it got too far. No, he thought. Here he was, sitting in his new dorm at the college of his dreams. This was the moment he’d been waiting for for the past four years. A real, physical culmination of all the work he’d ever done. He was at Yale.

The last thing he was going to do was cry.

He sat straight, sniffing, and took a moment to breathe. Then, he resolved himself. Grabbing a tissue from the pack on the desk, he blew his nose and got back to work.

A minute or so later, Josh came back through the door followed by an older Asian couple Adam could only assume were his parents. The three of them carried in box after box in what seemed like an endless cycle. To Adam’s mild delight, a mini fridge had made its way into the mix. Nice. Adam worked alongside them, shuffling awkwardly around the edges of the room, folding clothes and shelving books. Eventually though, the four seemed to fall into a sort of rhythm. Mr. and Mrs. Lee, as Adam had learned to call them, asked him the occasional question. Mostly about the basics, like his family and his major, but also about his blood type (they’d shared a look when he said A) for whatever reason. Maybe it was an Asian thing. Was that racist? God, he really hoped that wasn’t racist.

Josh seemed to pick up on Adam’s distress and chuckled. He rolled his eyes at his parents, accustomed to their behavior. Adam smiled, albeit still a little confused.

He liked the Lees, he decided, weird questions and all. They were friendly and helpful, and when it was time to say goodbye, they moved into the hallway, graciously sparing Adam from their tearful farewell. He continued unpacking quietly as they left, and he almost felt sad to see them go. He was still feeling sympathetic from his own goodbye, he guessed.

Josh came back into the room, the door swinging softly shut behind him. “Sorry about them,” he said, rubbing his neck. “They can get a little excited around new people.”

“I gathered,” Adam quipped, but there was no malice in his tone. “They seem like nice people.”

“They’re certainly something.” Josh said, half joking. There was a sadness in the way he said it, a sort of bittersweet twinge that Adam couldn’t help but pick up on.

“You’re going to miss them?” Adam asked.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Josh brought the back of his hand to his eyes. “They can be such a pain in the ass, but they always loved me, y’know? They’ve always been there and, I don’t know, it’s just going to be hard without them.”

“My parents too. They were constantly on my back about grades and whatnot. It was a sign that they cared, I guess.”

An understanding passed between them.

The rest of the evening went by uneventfully, the two having settled into a comfortable routine. At four o’clock, they had abandoned their things to go to open house, followed by dinner, then it was back to unpacking.They opened boxes, folded laundry, stacked books, hung posters, until finally  _ finally _ the room resembled something like a home.

Josh flopped backwards onto his bed, heaving a sigh of relief. Adam, inspired, followed suit.

“Some day, huh?” Adam said, staring at the blank ceiling above him. Maybe he should glue some stars? Were they allowed to do that?

“You could say that again. I am  _ exhausted _ .” 

Adam laughed lightly. “Hey, Josh?”

But there was no reply. True to his word, the boy had passed out. Adam didn’t blame him. What with orientation, meeting with the dean, and touring the campus for what felt like the millionth time, the afternoon had disappeared, giving way to evening, then night. He glanced at the clock and was only a little surprised to see the time. Ten o’clock.

He sat up again and went to turn off the lights. His socked feet crossed the floor carefully, but kicked something on his way back from the light switch. He bent down, feeling around for the object. His hand landed on something flat and wooden and he pulled it closer to his eyes, trying to see in the dark.

It was a picture frame. Caleb’s stupid face beamed up at him from behind the glass. The photo was from their graduation, Adam recalled, though he couldn’t really see it in the dark. Fortunately, he had memorized the picture the day it was taken. Caleb stood, squinting in the midday sun, smiling wider than ever. His arm was slung over Adam’s shoulders, pulling him close to his side. Adam could remember how warm it was that day, not just because of the June sun, or the dark robes they both wore. He remembered everyone’s smiles, the pure joy of the day, of  _ finally being done _ , and the warm happy feeling that spread in his chest. He didn’t need to be an empath for that.

Adam propped the picture on his desk, it’s rightful place. (How it managed to get on the floor to begin with was a horror and a mystery.) He brushed his teeth, changed into a clean pair of pajamas, and climbed into the freshly made bed, relishing the feeling of the soft covers.

The day was over. There was nothing left to do.

And so, as he had promised himself earlier, he did the last thing left.

He pulled up his grandmother’s quilt, breathed in the scent of home, and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> I found the bright sessions like last week and I've already finished it as well as, I think, every single caleb/adam fanfic on this site. so it's time to write my own.
> 
> I just finished (and started) the infinite noise today and i was HYPED to write more on these characters. i cry every day knowing that i won't be able to afford to listen to the college tapes
> 
> Here's some unnecessary notes because why not  
> I’ve set the main series in PA.  
> Caleb goes to Penn State in PA (300 ish miles from Yale)  
> I put in an OBSCENE amount of effort into choosing Caleb’s college, and I’m still not quite satisfied. I really thought he should go to a school with a smaller student body ‘cause empathy and shit, but ehh angst I guess? It has a good psych program and the acceptance rate fits with my perception of caleb’s academic record? Which is mid range. He an average boy. Plus, I figured he’d want to stay close-ish to home and I always pictured them living around Pittsburgh idk.  
> I also spent quite a bit of time looking at dorms and the yale campus online. my computer is now thoroughly convinced that I am a pennsylvania dwelling yale hopeful with dreams of majoring in psychology. 0 of 3 are true.  
> I spent a while looking up yale moving day procedures so ???? i hope it's accurate  
> I am thoroughly attached to josh. did i make him korean for the sole purpose of choosing a blood type for adam? yes. am I ashamed? no. i'll always add asian rep when i can squeeze it in
> 
> ok that's long enough. i might (might) turn this into a multi-chapter fic if i can find a good story for it. if that's something that you would be interested in, please review!!!!!!!!!! having motivation is a direct gateway to having a plot


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